The Devil that you know EP 28: Domino Effect (4)

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♙Kai Hamilton♙

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Sometimes (more like all the time) Kai wishes that his gut feeling would be wrong. But as always, that is never the case. As soon as they got into Noah’s house, after ringing the doorbell and knocking, they found him. He is arranged much like all the other victims but this time it was very obvious that this wasn’t an easy fight. There were clear signs of a struggle and a mess of footprints. Another glaring difference was instead of the normally scattered clippings, there were photos…

But these photos were of Amir. The pictures were clearly taken from a vantage point that Amir wouldn’t be aware of. This only solidified Amir’s claim but also simultaneously deepened Kai’s guilt. His eyes wouldn’t leave the body before him.

Even though he surely could vaguely hear someone calling to him.

The other major difference was the words left behind. In big bold, red text, the words “You will all know my truth” was written.

Obviously, a message left by Sarah who judging by this kill, was probably spiraling. She was angry and anger makes one reckless. He stumbles away from the scene and makes his way outside of some much-needed air. He doesn’t however realize he’s followed.

“Kai!”

Kai snaps out of his thoughts and turns to Rafeeqa with a lost expression on his face. She looked, worried which wasn’t the expression Kai was expecting honestly.

“..Yes?” He asks.

She pauses as she scans his face as if trying to read him. Kai just stares back blankly.

“..Kai, this is-”

“If you are going to say, it isn’t my fault. Let me stop you right now.” He says with a bitter laugh.

She seems conflicted by his self-deprecating tone.

“You were right. I really thought I was better than you all. How arrogant can you get?”

“Kai…”

“Got not one, but two people killed just to prove a fucking point.” Kai hisses under his breath.

Rafeeqa is saying words of encouragement but they all just feel like pity and that was frankly the last thing he wanted to hear.

“Are you here to rub it in?” He turns to her with an ugly sneer.

The expression on her face shutters as she takes in his bitter undertone. She irons out the pity and changes for a more neutral one which makes Kai feel less defensive.

“No, I came over because it looks like you were about to have a panic attack!” She says with the motion of her hand.

If Kai was being honest, she wasn’t too far off in her assumption. If Kai had stood any longer in the building, he’s pretty sure he would have thrown up. But right now his self-preservation instincts are prickled so he lets off a scoff and roll his eyes.

“Right, and you were just so worried?”

She gives him a pointed look and a half smile and lets out a sarcastic laugh.

“…I was actually, a poor choice on my end obviously.” She says as she goes to walk back, clearly fed up with Kai’s shitting attitude.

Kai’s mood sobered up immediately at what she said. He knew he had no one to blame really but himself. He made the choice not to tell Jonas about Amir or what he had suspected. He made the choice to try to be a lone wolf, to be a hero…

What a load of shit.

“He’s going to fire me ya know.” He says almost casually.

Rafeeqa seems to take this information as shocking but honestly since making the decision to tell Jonas, Kai wasn’t really all that surprised by it. Jonas already didn’t like him and given how Kai was always going against the mold, he was surely waiting for some fuck-up to fire him. The guilt of it all was just a bit of almost mocking topping to the overall situation.

“…. Maybe it’s for the best..”

Kai turns to Rafeeqa, not expecting those words. Her expression is a mixture of relief and sadness.

“..What did you say?” Kai asks slowly as if having trouble processing her words.

She let out a small laugh that didn’t feel all the kind.

“..I don’t know if you’ve noticed or care by any means. But you don’t fit here.”

The truth of her words stung a bit but it wasn’t something Kai himself hadn’t realized.

“To be blunt, you’re an outsider Kai. Being born here, everyone knows their place. Sure, there’s an occasional hero case here and there. But eventually, everyone understands this city… it’s never gonna change.”

“And so what? We just let it keep going? We the fucking police!” Kai yells, angered by Rafeeqa’s honestly matter-of-fact tone.

He knew Rafeeqa had a very skewed view of how this city was. But the idea that she wouldn’t even try to change it, even if it’s something small wasn’t something he expected her. Confirmation was one thing but blatantly weaponized ignorance was another. Choosing to see something broken and not even trying to fix it, or even worse keeping it as it is wasn’t something he expected from her of all people.

“Exactly. You’ve been a cop long enough to not be this stupid. If you honestly think anything we do has a lasting impact on this place then you are just being purposefully naive.”

Kai physically steps back as if her words slap him. He feels like he is seeing Rafeeqa for the first time, but he knows there is someone else beyond the polite yet sometimes cynical woman.

“..What the hell are you talking about? I know you don’t believe this but justice is possible even here. There have been cases where the law actually fucking mattered. I’m not stupid or naive enough to believe that justice trumps all or some shit like that. However!”

Kai actually glares at her for the first time. He’s angry, at her words and attitude, and again reminded of why he didn’t trust anyone.

“That doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.”

Silent lapses between the two of them as they both stare each other down. Her expression however changes to one that almost mocking. A cold smile on her face but the look in her eyes was almost one of pity like she was looking at a child who had just spoken of delusions.

“…I think this city gives people a false sense of reality.”

Kai looks at her with bewilderment.

“Maybe it causes the injustice of it is so blatant sometimes. You think well obviously there is just something wrong here. That something like this could only happen here.”

She lets out a small laugh and shakes her head before looking Kai right in the eyes.

“This city is not that different from others really. It’s just the atrocities are much easier to see and sometimes even proudly displayed. Elsewhere else every dirty deed is hidden by some optical illusion.”

“It makes it easier that way, I guess.”

“Rafeeqa what are you eve-”

“I’m gonna make this point one last time Kai, I really hope you are listening diligently.”

Kai keeps his mouth shut at the very serious expression that comes to her face.

“You think you haven’t been playing the game all this time? But you have.”

A cold wave goes up Kai’s spine at those words. He’s looking at Rafeeqa like she was a stranger and she in turn was staring like she was looking right through him.

“Those efforts you made, that so-called justice you think that’s been happening?” She lists off before shaking her head with a sneer of a smile on her face.

“It’s not real.”

Kai was lost for words at that. Her tone was so conversational like she was just talking about the weather or even a well-known fact.

“I think it will be better this way… At the rate you’re going, you were just going to get yourself killed.”

“Rafeeqa!”

“Have a good life Kai, stay out of all of this.”

She then turns and leaves, heading back to the crime scene. Kai didn’t move even as time went on. As if cement in the fact that today was a terrible day, it even started to rain. Needless to say, Kai was fired that day. Jonas didn’t seem to have the anger in him to yell or even cuss Kai out. He just told him to get his stuff and go. Kai could feel every eye on him and knew eventually word would get out about why he was being let go. But at this point in time, he didn’t really care. He went home but the silence that suffocated him didn’t let him stay long. So he went to the only place he felt was really home. Time seemed to have lost its meaning as he didn’t even realize he reached the orphanage until he was outside its doors. By this point, the storm outside had picked up momentum and was now a downpour. He looks around as he enters, a bit lost by how quiet it is. One of the sisters also helps out Father Walter with the orphanage. Sister Reeds wasn’t a big fan of Kai which mostly had to do with how he was growing up. She always would associate him with trouble and in most cases, she wouldn’t be wrong.

“..Kai, how can I help you.”

In some ways, it was fortunate that Kai was too off-kilter to give her a sassy reply. More than likely it would just evolve into a verbal standoff and right now all Kai wanted to do was talk to either the Father or Maria.

“I just wanted to talk to the Father-”

“He is currently unavailable. The children are also in classes so unfortunately you’ve come at an ill opportune time. Maybe come back tomorrow.” She replies behind a fake smile.

“Then is Maria available? I just need to-”

“Maria is also unavailable. She came down sick a few days ago. Maybe if you visited more you would have seen her?”

That little sneer comment was the other reason Sister Reed disliked him. She considered him ungrateful since he doesn’t visit as much as she thinks he should. Under normal circumstances, he would just ignore it but today, her words hit somewhere deep.

Maybe it was the guilt from before just spilling over. He knew he didn’t visit as much and he sometimes saw it on Maria’s face. If he wasn’t so caught up with this solo hero crusade that no one really cares for except himself. Kai doesn’t respond and just looks at her like a lost child. Her gaze is critical and condescending like it was when he was a child.

Without another word he left, the rumble of thunder and the heavy cries of rain echoed around him. He doesn’t remember how he got home but he does it. He shuffles himself into bed and just stares off in the distance. It takes some time but slowly his mind submits to sleep.

Dreams do not come to him, however. The only thing he sees is a dark void.