_______________________________________
⧫Jackson Young
Charlen's Cuisine
_______________________________________
The silence was almost in itself deafening. Neither Jasmine nor I had spoken a word since her arrival. To be honest, I was still hoping to open my eyes at some point back in the club or even better my bed. Jasmine tried a few times to start a conversation. Her mouth would open but nothing would come out and then she would just stare at me in a rather pitiful and sad manner.
I hated it.
My annoyance built up quickly and my mouth opened completely against my will.
"It's funny, you don't even look like an Abby."
My words may have come off as nonchalant but the expression on my face read more than clearly. I couldn't help but cringe on the inside at how it sounded even to myself. As if I was a scorned lover or something.
We had our time and now, I'm completely 100 % not affected or even caring about what she does or dates.
None in the least bit.
"But I mean, what do I know about you now right? Maybe you change your name to Amy is that it?" I said in the pettiest tone I could muster and even threw in an audibly forced laugh at the end to seal the deal.
A long pause of silence was my answer. And at the moment I thought to myself. If I could find a hole to bury myself in, I would do it at this exact moment.
She didn't speak directly after me but her micro expression change was more than enough. Jasmine raises a sculpted eyebrow, her face morphing between semi-neutral and kind of shocked. Her lips seem like she wants to smile but she could clearly see that I wasn't happy. And to make matters worst, I just ...kept...talking...
"But obviously that's fine if you did change your name. Cause it doesn't really matter to me!
I was desperately praying for either the waiter to show with the check or the sun to explode at this very moment. Anything to save me from this social suicide.
Jasmine on the other hand had now raised the other eyebrow and her expression just has morphed back to the sad/pity mix that I hated.
"Jackson.."
Before she got far, my eyes peeled onto a waiter who just happened to finally be walking past our table. Never again will I choose a corner seat. I instantly flag him down.
"Hi, yes, I would like my check please!"
"Oh yes sir-"
"No, he would not."
Both the waiter and I turned to look at Jasmine, who was putting on an almost award-winning performance. Her were misty with unshed tears, bottom lip trembling just so.
"Baby, you promised me for our anniversary that we would get the Coffe Cake~!"
I strained a smile to match her as the pressure was now on me. It was almost as if she was daring me to deny it so that she can make her whole act even more exaggerated. I would be impressed by her sly and well-orchestrated ploy but I knew that Jasmine was once trying out to be an actress.
She was damn good at what she did.
"Oh course Dear." I said with a smile that had too many teeth.
The waiter unfortunately wasn't any the wiser and he simply smiles and nodded before walking off. And there goes my chance at freedom from this extremely awkward situation. Little giggles then tumbled from Jasmine as she seemed to find immense pleasure in this dreaded circumstance. But then as I remember Jasmine, was always one to joke around and pull pranks similar to this.
And there you go again Jackson, let the past stay in the past!
When hearing no laughter from my side, she looks over at me. My less than impression expression made her smile fall a bit. Not sure if that made me happy or sad, but my heart clenches a bit.
"Oh come on Jackie, that was funny!"
My full body flinched unconsciously and recoiled slightly at that sentence. I wasn't sure if it was her tone or the use of the nickname that only a few even called me.
It hurt and then there was anger boiling in my stomach.
Jasmine noticed obviously much to my dismay and her expression turned completely serious as if realizing something for the first time.
"Jack-" She goes to speak again
"After we finish eating, I'm gone understood? Hope to see you never." I interrupted her instantly in a sarcastic sneer, not wanted to hear that nickname again ever.
I could see the anger in her eyes at the cold words. At this point, I'd abandon my idea of staying neutral and cool. Jasmine had a way that apparently even years after still worked to throw me off.
I hated it.
"Jackson-."
"Jasmine, we're not friends or even acquaintances. And even at this point, I don't care why you are here and not my date."
"If you would just listen to me for a second!"
"I don't want to. And I don't need to."
"God, you're always like this! You always are jumping to conclusions!"
"Conclusions? Ha, that rich coming from you."
We were getting too loud, I could tell, but I was just took wound up.
"Jack-"
"Your order!"
The tension is cut immediately with the sudden return of the waiter. He looks like he heard a good portion of the argument and would like to be anywhere but at our table.
Which honestly, same.
I just crossed my arms over my chest and nodded to the cake after the waiter place it on the table and scrambled away.
"Eat."
Jasmine sits back in her chair, eyeing me with a look I didn't quite like.
"If you aren't going to eat then-"
"I'm sorry."
I don't think I was fully prepared to hear that from her of all people since I just stared back at her. Did she look resigned? Or maybe just, my mind trying to make this situation better.
"What?"
"I said I'm sorry."
I unconsciously clenched my jaw as I chew back the scathing words that I wanted to yell are her. She gives me a sad smile, which makes my treacherous heartache against my better judgment.
"About what?" I feigning ignorance, not really wanting to dive into this.
Her head tilts a bit as her smile widens a bit, and my heart once again, beating a bit harder.
"Jackson, I'm sorry. And I want to be friends again at least.."
I could feel the blood pumping in my heart as I watched her. Her eyes scrunching up a bit her smile widens more to a full one. But my mind is yelling at me, telling me no even if my heart is aching. I quickly grab my fork and begin eating the pretend like I didn't hear her even as my mind is racing. Fortunately, she doesn't push it and she just eats in silence with me.
The next 15 minutes was in blessed silence however once we had finally finished the cake, that awkward pressure built up again. I flagged down a waiter who quickly came and supplied that bill. After paying, I sat for a few seconds in silence.
I still hadn't given her an answer, and I wasn't 100% sure I would.
Once the pressure reached too much I stood from my seat. I didn't look at her, cause I knew if I did I would lose.
"Goodbye Jasmine."
I turned to leave and like a bullet, she reached out to grab my arm. I didn't turn to her but I could hear it. Sniffles, like she was getting ready to cry. Whether it was genuine or not was irrelevant.
I couldn't face her.
I would not do it.
"Jackie..." Her words mumbled behind me.
As if I was possessed or something my body turned before my mind could stop it. And there was she was. Big tears in her eyes, dark brown eyes gleaming a bit. Her nose taking on a slightly reddish tint. Jasmine, still as beautiful as the day I met her.
The woman who broke my heart.
I crumbled like a house of cards
From that point on, I felt myself fade into the background of my surroundings.
"..son...."
"Jackson!!"
I jerk back in shock and surprise, my once glassy eyes finally alert to my surroundings. It was mid-evening and the club was in full swing. Jacob was looking at me like I just was throwing up blood or something equally worrying.
"Are you okay man? I've been calling you for 10 minutes now."
I let out a deep sigh, and run a hand over my head, scratching roughly at my neck. However, my arm suddenly stops as Haydon who appears literally out of nowhere stops me. His expression is almost too serious as his eyes are peel at me, look me in the eyes as if searching for something.
"Jackson are you alright?"
"Jesus, yeah Haydon, I'm fine man." I said trying to grab my arm back but his grip just tightens.
"Are you sure about that?"
He then nods to my hand and I look down to see a shock of red. I must have been scratching harder than normal. Hayden sees the surprise on my face and frowns deeper.
"Come here."
He then forces me off the stool I saw sitting on the drags me towards the private hall that is usually reserved for us or any of our personal guesses that we bring. I was protesting the whole time but Haydon was just as stubborn as me. It was until we were in the room that he lets go and turns to me with a stormy expression on his face like someone was dying or something.
"Haydon, what the hell man? I said I was okay?"
"Bullshit, you may be able to lie to Jacob cause he doesn't like to make you uncomfortable but don't try that with me, Jackson. We both know it won't work."
"Haydon I-"
"Before you lie to me, again. I know for a fact you're not okay. So please try to lie to me."
My mouth shuts with a click. It was almost eerie something however Haydon knew when I was lying better than most, almost as good as my grams. I tried to think of something but everything seems to just unravel in my mind as soon as it entered. I just slumped back on the ground with a deep sigh.
The truth it was I guess.
"I met Jasmine today."
"What?"
I looked up at him, he was clearly confused not fully realizing who I was talking about.
"Her."
Realization hit him like a lightning bolt as he let out of a frustrated huff and turns around.
"How? I mean honestly how did you met her? I thought you were just going on your arranged date thing?"
"Yeah, well she was the one I met. Not sure how or why and honestly didn't think to ask. I was just... I don't know.."
"Did you tell grams?"
"What? NO! Of course not? And have grams go on a warpath to hunting Jasmine down? No... its-...it fine."
"Obviously fucking not! Did you forget what she fucking did?! Jackson-"
"It wasn't her fault!" I yelled back, standing up and glaring at him.
The room fell back to dead silence. Haydon looked like if he could kill someone with just his mind, he would. He just let out a scoff and shook his head before looking back at me again.
"What did you do Jackson."
That one question poured a whole bucket of cold water over me. My words died in my throat before I could even open my mouth. And I looked at him like a lost child who didn't know what to express himself. It just made him angrier as his mind no doubt was racing.
"Jackson, I swear to god-"
"She said she was sorry Haydon... I..I"
Haydon looked almost helpless with his anger.
"She said she wanted to try to be friends and-"
"And you believed that shit?! Fucking christ Jackson!"
"Um guys, you alright in here?"
Jacob had just peaked his head in the room, worry clear on his face. Haydon goes to explain the situation but grabs his shoulder still with that lost look on my face. I didn't know what to say but I pleaded silently to not say anything. He understood cause he then stops and let out a deep sigh.
"...It's nothing Jac. Just checking on the crazy business situation with Jackson.."
Jacob now with a false understanding of the situation also walks in with a slightly relieved look.
"Oh that again, come on Jackson it's not gonna be that bad man! I keep telling you that you gonna be the next Picasso!"
"That's a painter idiot." I mumbled out with a weak smile.
"Yeah, yeah whatever same thing! Come on, man! The party is just getting good!" He said and motioned for us to follow him out.
Haydon wordlessly followed out the room, however, threw me a clear look that I understood instantly. This conversation wasn't over, and he may keep this secret but that doesn't mean, we were going to talk about it at lengths.
When I'm alone, I let out a long sigh. My mind straining at the edges and my heart was in a mess. Just like old times...
Everything in my head was mashed together, my heart was still in knots and the only thing that came to my mind was one word.
"Fuck..."